All About You

“Sup dude, what’s popping?”

“Nothing much. Just chatting then at 3 I’m going to head out to Stardom” (Oh no, why did I tell him!)

“The club? No way! Do you know how long I’ve been longing to go there? Dude, I got to come with” (Wicked!)

“Uh… I’m acc going to get some fuel on the way so I might be a while” (Please don’t come, please don’t come)

“Wait… what car are you taking again?” (You don’t mean to tell me..)

“Um… I’m still using my Toyota Corolla (There. It’s out!)

“You mean… na don’t worry. I’m good. I’ll catch a ride elsewhere” (What a joke! He’s still using his 9-year-old car.. you got to be kidding me!)

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That, my readers, is a classic example of low self esteem and one big jerk! Self esteem is a person’s overall feeling of self-worth or personal value. Now, we all say to ourselves, ‘I believe in you, Matthew’ or ‘Let’s go, Janie’ but do we really support ourselves or is it just an illusionary shield we try to place around us. 85% of the world suffer from low self-esteem and sorry to say but you might just be one of them and not even realize it!

We all face pressure out there, be it that we’re children, teenagers, or adults. It may be that new shoe that your friend told you to get if you ever want to be known as cool or the fact that you’re the only male in your beer buddies group who isn’t driving a Jeep, they’re all the same.

There are many paces and phases of this very interesting topic. Sometimes, we feel insecure or unsure of ourselves and our human nature is to assert control over your immediate close environment, even if it’s just to have rest of mind. That’s okay. What’s not okay is how you assert that control. You may have noticed that colleague that your mates make fun of or post rude things about them and suddenly bingo! You’ve got yourself a plan. Why don’t you do something really bad to that person and earn the immediate respect and admiration of all your other colleagues. After all, what’s 1 enemy when you have 99 friends (It’s not like you’re going to talk to him anyway).

WRONG!!!

If you were that kind of person, that’s okay. If you are still GOING to be that type of person after this, that’s not okay!

We weren’t all born cool or fresh. We might have been born into a society or family that gave us a few brownie points in that space, but you aren’t that yet. That’s something you feel you’ve got to achieve. You want to achieve that because you’ve noticed someone that other people make fun of and at that young, tender age we all want to have friends. So, you start to strive and work hard to change yourself and identity to what pleases others. That, my readers, is a low case of self-worth. Self-esteem and Self-worth are different. Oh, very different but yet are interchangeably used. “Self-esteem is what we think and feel and believe about ourselves. Self-worth is recognizing 'I am greater than all of those things.” Problem is, to achieve self-worth we’ve got to conquer all and have high self esteem and those sound waaaaay easier than they actually are.

PERSONAL

Various things can cause low self-esteem:

·         Unsupportive parents, carers or others that play an influential role in their life.

·         Friends who are bad influences.

·         Stressful life events such as divorce or moving houses.

·         Trauma or abuse.

·         Poor performance at school or unrealistic goals.

·         Mood disorders such as depression.

·         Anxiety.

Sometimes for reasons only God knows, we don’t get the support and love from our parents that are meant to guide us and mould us into becoming model people. That sucks. It also kills. But that’s a different story. Other times, we make friends that are bad influences and are leading us off the straight and narrow. You may not think hey are major things but all those times that boy or girl gave you an R-Rated movie or that dirty mag or that quick joint, yep it’s all part. I’m not going into all the others cuz if you read properly, you’ll notice that the first two points actually cause the remaining. But enough of all this gloom and doom. There’s a cure, but its not going to be easy. (They never are).

To overcome low self-esteem and recognise your great self-worth:

1    Surround Yourself with the Right People.

       Get to Know Yourself/Become Your Own Best Friend.

3     Acknowledge Where You Need Change.

       Don't Compare Yourself to Others.

       Repeat Positive Affirmations.

       Take Care of Yourself.

7     Give Back.

I know we all ‘love’ our friends and can’t do anything without them, but you really need to spice things up. For those who don’t know how to recognize such bad friends: On a daily basis, see which friends contradict whatever you say or always seem to talk to you down. At the end of the week, the recurring name of these friends are most likely the bad friends.

Second, work on identifying, challenging, and externalizing your critical inner voice. We all have an inner critic that loves to nit-pick and point out our flaws. It’s natural to let this inner critic get the best of us sometimes, but if we let her win too often she starts to think that she’s right!

Whenever you notice your inner critic start to fire up with the criticisms, make her pause for a moment. Ask yourself whether she has any basis in fact, whether she’s being kind or not, and whether what she’s telling you is something you need to know. If none of those things are true, feel free to tell her to see herself out! Challenge her on the things she whispers in your ear and remind her that no matter what you do or don’t do, you are worthy and valuable all the same.

I don’t want to start to bore you all so let’s try these things first and depending on the feedback and comments, we’ll see whether there will be a part 2.

Signing out,

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