The Many Facets of Rape

Dear readers,

So, I had a Civic Education class today and we debated about what we thought had led to such an influx of rape cases lately. Some of us were of the opinion that it was due to the fact that the authorities were busy dealing with COVID cases that there were opportunities for people to rape and be raped. We continued talking but after it all, I realized that there were so many undiscussed things about rape that people needed to be informed about. So this post is more of a lesson than our usual one-sided discussion.

Firstly, rape is two-sided. That is, both males and females can be raped. So let’s discard that illusion that only females are raped.

Okay, let’s get started.

1.      There is absolutely no reason whatsoever for rape. A lot of rape perpetrators give the excuse that they were misled by the females attire or dressing. Though it’s on the part of the woman to dress responsibly especially as she’s socializing in public, her indecent dressing is no excuse to rape her.

We’ve come to believe that rape is a sexual act and that’s not true. Rape is not a sexual act but rather an act of violence which uses sex as a weapon. Rape is motivated by lust but eventually is fuelled by the desire to exert power and humiliate. Now some of you reading this will start thinking ‘Ahan, it’s not that deep now’ but it actually is!

In the shoes of the perpetrator, you simply can’t help yourself or you have a high sex drive. In that case, I think we all know what you should do. What you shouldn’t do is find and take an opportunity to brutalize and humiliate someone just because.

And it is deep because in the victims shoes, they are being humiliated and brutalized by being asked to do all sort of degrading things or being injured when they try to fight back.

2.      Some people think that prostitutes and hookers cannot be raped because they sell their body for sex and the like. Boy, have they ever been more wrong! While you may think ‘Um…. They’re selling their body and I paid for this so I’m entitled to get whatever I want from them’ that’s actually not true! As human beings, they have the right to give or withhold their consent for sexual activity and once you violate that, you’re actually assaulting them!

3.      Most people think that sexual assault is most often committed by strangers at night in dark alleys. If this wasn’t such a serious topic, I would laugh. Rape can happen anywhere, anytime and anyhow. It might happen at a party, in that friend’s house where you stopped by to make a quick phone call, even at school or work! That’s why I would advise to always move around in with a group of trusted friends or colleagues. The chances of being raped are less and if it should be tried, the friends can either come to your defense or get help.

4.      This one is short but very important. Most people think that if the other person has passed out from excessive alcohol or such, then it’s okay to have sex with them. Not only is that somnophilic but that is also rape. So far the individual doesn’t clearly give you their consent, well then sorry for you, it’s either jail or patience. And just as well, if the perpetrator is drunk when they rape the individual, that’s not excusable. We are all responsible for our actions no matter how intoxicated or inebriated we may be.

5.      Another misinforming facet is that most people think that so far the person didn’t fight back, it doesn’t count as rape. Sorry to disappoint but it does. Assailants are not looking for a fight and may often use forms of coercion, threats and manipulation to get what they want. There are some drugs used to incapacitate people.

6.      Some people think that a woman can’t be raped by another woman and that a man can’t be raped. Ha. Sorry to say but 30% of lesbians have admitted to being raped by another woman, 15% of gay men report being raped by other men and 5% to 10% of sexual assaults consist of male victims.

7.      Some people think that raped victims don’t report the rape because their assailants have connections or are powerful. That’s actually incorrect. Most rape victims are traumatized and don’t want to report because of the stigma associated with it.

8.      Most people think that if a parent teaches a child to stay away from strangers they won’t get raped. Sorry for that illusion. 60% of child abuse cases are perpetrated by someone the child knows outside the family and 30% are assaulted by family members.

So let’s get our facts right and please be safe. Always travel in groups of nothing less than 3 and carry a fully charged phone and EFFECTIVE pepper spray around. If it’s not too much trouble, take some self-defense classes. Just take care of yourselves.

Signing out (for now),

X